Pushed to the Limit
by TVObssessedGirl28
Summary: Ethan's near breaking point. He has something to tell Cal, but Cal also has something to tell him. Will this break their brotherly bond? Set after 'Black Alert'.
1. Chapter 1

He had no idea how many energy drinks he had drank today, all he knew was it didn't matter. He was going to give the patients the best treatment they deserved so he drank another one. As he was finishing his fifth or sixth or maybe eighth he heard someone call out his name.

"Ethan." Lily said as she stood beside him. "Don't you think you've had enough of those for one day? You need a break. Why don't call it for the day and head home?"

"Because my shift doesn't end for another 4 hours. And I don't need a break. I'm fine." Ethan told opening yet another can.

Lily shook her head grabbing the can from his hand as she did so.

"Lily, can I please have my drink back."

"No."

"Fine. I'll just get another one from my locker."

Ethan turned around but, was stopped by Lily when she grabbed his hand.

"You're not going to have another. You've had a tough day, Ethan. You need to rest."

"And I've told you I'm fine." Ethan yanked his arm away from her grip.

Before Lily could protest Ethan walked away from her and headed towards the staffroom. Lily followed behind knowing what he was going to do. Reaching the door before Ethan, Lily stood between the entrance and him.

"Could you please move out of the way."

Lily didn't answer. She just stood her ground.

"I said move." Ethan snapped.

"I'm not going to move until you stop drinking those energy drinks. You know what damage they can do."

Ethan didn't even bother arguing with her. He just walked away again. Pushing the doors to RESUS rather roughly in just stood there in the middle. His day couldn't have got any worse. Now lying in front of him was a death he could have prevented. He felt his knees buckle beneath him. But, before he had time to hit the floor a pair of arms wrapped around his waist.

"It's okay, Nibbles. I've got you." Cal whispered to him as he felt his little brother shake in his arms.

Ethan continued to sob. Cal didn't know what to do so instead he took Ethan away from the room and to the staffroom where they could have some privacy.

"Everything's going wrong." Ethan choked. "This is all my fault. "

"No." Cal said firmly.

"Yes, it is. It's my fault that patient died. My fault I missed the signs of Olivia being abused. I should have given them my full attention, but I didn't and looks what happened."

Cal grabbed Ethan's face in his hands.

"Look at me, Ethan. This is not your fault. There is only so much you can do. "

"I've should have seen the signs. I should have reported it."

"You're a doctor, Eth. Not a social worker or the police. It's your job to treat the presented injuries and then let the other services deal with it."

"It's still my fault. Even if it's not directly my fault."

Ethan suddenly felt faint. He began to sway and Cal notice Ethan was not focusing. Cal caught him just as he fell forwards into his arms.

"Ethan?" Cal shook his shoulders.

No response.

"Can I get some help in here!" Cal shouted through the door.

Connie rushed in along with Rita.

"What happened?" Connie demanded.

"I don't know. He just collapsed." Cal explained.

"Right, let's get him on the floor." Connie instructed.

With Ethan laid out the floor Connie checked his eye movements.

"Well, his pupils are dilated and reactive. But, he's severely dehydrated. We need to get him into RESUS and hooked up to 2 litres of saline." Connie said as Max entered with a trolley.

Rolling into RESUS Ethan began to come round.

"Nice to see you back with us." Connie said as Rita hooked him up to the saline drip.

"Where am I?" Ethan asked groggily.

"In RESUS."

"Why?"

"You collapsed on me, Eth." Cal explained to him.

"Here, Ethan. I need you to breathe through this while we get rehydrated." Rita said to him, placing a mask over his face.

While Connie and Rita were checking his vitals Ethan beckoned Cal to come closer to him.

"Yeah, what is it?" Cal inquired.

"What did you want to talk to me about?"

"Huh?"

"You texted me. Said we needed to talk."

"Uh, about that. Well, it can wait until you get better."

"Really?"

Cal nodded. He knew now wasn't exactly the best time to break the news to his brother. Not when he was already so stressed.

"Well, we'll talk when we get home, okay?" Ethan said.

"Uh, sure." Cal responded.

"Good, because I've need to tell you something too."


	2. Chapter 2

2 hours later and Ethan was free to go home. By the time they had arrived at the flat Ethan had fallen asleep. Cal looked towards his brother. He sighed. Ethan was exhausted and having all those energy drink didn't help either.

"Ethan, we're home." Cal gently shook his shoulders.

Ethan stirred in his sleep and rubbed his eyes before placing his glasses back on.

"Come on." Cal said. "You're too big for me to carry now."

The two of them got out of the car. Upon entering the flat Ethan still felt a bit tired. Cal helped him onto the sofa. As soon as Ethan was settled Cal went into the kitchen to get him a glass of water and himself a beer. Coming back over he could see Ethan's head was dropping. Quietly walking over he placed the two drinks on the coffee table.

"Let's get you to bed." Cal said as he helped Ethan to stand up.

Ethan jolted back awake when he felt Cal's arms around his shoulders.

"No, we've got to talk."

"We can talk about it tomorrow." Cal told him. "You're tired."

"No, I need to talk now."

Cal sat down beside him. Seeing Ethan needed to talk with him so urgently caused a knot to form in his stomach. Had Ethan found out about their adoption? About the Huntington's? Cal shook the thought out of his head. How could Ethan have found out? The only person who knew apart from him was Charlie. And Cal knew Charlie wouldn't tell him. So he wondered what Ethan had to say.

"Is everything okay?" Cal asked.

"Um, not really." Ethan started to say. "The thing is…"

"What?"

"I've quit."

Cal felt relieved Ethan hadn't found out about the adoption, though at the same time he was shocked.

"Why?" he finally managed to say.

"Well, I haven't officially quit yet. I still need to hand in my resignation to Connie. But, hey it's no big deal."

"No big deal?" Cal raised his voice. "But, you love your job, Eth."

"How can I love my job when I only cause people to lose their lives?"

"I know it's difficult but, death comes with the job. And anyway you don't always lose patients. The majority of the time you save lives."

''I just can't do it anymore, Cal. I quit. Anyway, what did you want to talk to me about. Whatever it is, it can't be as bad as mine." Ethan smiled weakly.

Cal just looked at him. His brother had just informed him he'd quit his job and he was acting like it didn't matter. Now here Cal was about to deliver more shocking news.

"So come on then." Ethan urged on. "What is it?"

"Oh, well I was just thinking about whether we should consider adopting Matilda and making it official." Cal said hoping Ethan would be convinced.

"Really?"

"Yeah. I thought because we both love her then why not? I think Matilda would like that."

"I think that's a great idea." Ethan smiled.

"Thought you might." Cal smiled back.

"Well, I'm off to bed." Ethan announced getting up off the sofa. "I'll see you in the morning, Cal."

"Yeah. Have a good night, Nibbles."

Ethan rolled his eyes at the use of the nickname. Watching Ethan head to his room, Cal slumped against the sofa. He groaned. Why did he have to say he wanted to adopt Matilda? What was wrong with him? It was a nice idea but, not affordable at the moment. How would they be able to look after her with both of them working? Cal shook his head and put that thought to one side. He had to focus on telling Ethan the truth, not make up some excuse when it came down to it. Cal made up his mind to tell Ethan tomorrow, even if it meant crashing his brother's hope of them adopting Matilda.

The next morning Cal left 10 minutes earlier than Ethan did as his shift started before his brother's. Arriving at the ED Cal was soon spotted by Charlie.

"So how is Ethan?" Charlie wondered.

"Yeah, he's good."

"And have you told him yet?"

"No, not yet."

"Cal."

"But, I will tell him."

"And when will that be?"

"Today. I'll tell him today."

"You better tell him today."

"What does that mean?"

"If you don't then I'm going to. I can't keep lying to him knowing what I know."

"Please, Charlie. Don't tell him. I need to tell him."

"Then make sure he knows by the end of your shifts."


	3. Chapter 3

"Dr. Knight." Connie called his name. "I've got a patient in cubicle 2 for you."

Connie handed Cal the files before heading off to her office.

"So Ms…." Cal said as he drew back the curtains. But, he didn't have to finish his sentence.

"Emilie? What are you doing here?" He asked recognising the patient.

"She woke up with pains in her chest and had difficulty breathing. " Shelle informed him.

"Why didn't you go to St. James'? It's a lot nearer than Holby."

"I wanted to meet Ethan." Emilie told him truthfully.

Just then the curtains drew back and Charlie entered.

"Emilie?"

"Uh, yeah. She's been admitted with chest pains and breathing difficulties." Cal told him.

"Right, well let's get this on you and then take your pulse." Charlie said as he placed an oxygen mask over her face.

A few minutes later Emilie's breathing seemed to be normal. Yet, the pain in her chest was still there so Cal decided to keep her in for observation.

"Will you excuse us for a moment?" Cal asked them.

Shelle and Emilie nodded. Indicating with his head to Charlie, the two of them left the cubicles.

"He can not find out like this." Cal whispered.

"What do you want me to do?" Charlie asked.

"Get her transferred to St. James'."

"Cal, you know we can't do that. She needs to stay here."

"Fine. But, just keep Ethan away from here until I tell him."

Charlie nodded. He would do his best to keep Ethan away but, he was not a child minder. He could not be sure of Ethan's whereabouts every second. Cal redrew the curtains back open. While Cal sat with Emilie back out in reception Ethan had arrived ready to start his shift.

"Dr. Hardy!" Connie's stern voice called him from her office.

Ethan walked over to her.

"Yes?"

"You shouldn't be here today. After what happened last night I would have thought you would want to catch up on some sleep."

"Really, Connie. I'm fine." Ethan said. "But, if it would be better than let me work in cubicles today."

"Very well. Just in cubicles. If you feel like you're struggling to cope than you take a break. Is that understood?" Connie instructed.

Ethan nodded his head in agreement.

"Right, then get back to work."

On his way to cubicles with a pile of patient files in his arms Ethan bumped into Charlie.

"Morning, Ethan." Charlie smiled at him. "Where are you heading?"

"Cubicles. Connie said I should concentrate on cubicles today seeming what happened last time."

Ethan then walked away. Charlie hesitated and then shook his head. Ethan wouldn't need to go in cubicle 2 so he just left him. That was until he saw Ethan heading towards cubicle 2. Before Charlie could stop him Ethan drew back the curtain. Cal turned around and so did Emilie. Cal had been crying and Ethan noticed the tears before his brother had time to wipe them away.

"Cal? What's going on?" Ethan inquired.

Cal hesitated. Was this a good time to tell him? He couldn't lie anymore so it was going to have to be.

"She's our mum." Cal replied.

Ethan looked at him and then at the woman on the bed. He shook his head, dropped the files he was holding and ran out of the cubicle.

"Ethan!" Cal shouted after him.

"Let me." Charlie said quietly.

Cal nodded and went back to sit with Emilie who now had tears in her eyes. Charlie found Ethan by the nurses' station looking through files. Or rather pretending to look through the files. Charlie approached him.

"Ethan, your mum's really ill." Charlie told him truthfully.

"My mum died two years ago, Charlie." Ethan looked up from what he was doing.

"Look, I know it's not my place but, you need to talk to Cal."

"No. I need to get back to my patients." Ethan said.

With his final response Ethan picked up the rest of the files and walked away. Charlie sighed. He knew this was going to happen. Heading back to where Cal sat with Emilie Charlie shook his head when Cal looked at him.

"Whoa, where are you going to?" Charlie asked as Cal stood up.

"I need to speak to him."

"Do you think that's a good idea?" Charlie hinted.

"No, but I need to explain this to him."

Charlie let Cal pass by. Instead of bursting through the staffroom like he would have normally done, Cal knocked on the door. As he expected he go no reply.

"Ethan?" Cal pleaded. "Please, can I come in? We need to talk."

Again he received no answer from his brother. Not caring Ethan was angry with him Cal opened the door and saw his brother standing in front of the lockers. Approaching him Cal placed a hand on his shoulder. Ethan shrugged it off.

"Please, Ethan."

"Why the hell didn't you tell me? Didn't you think I needed to know?" Ethan snapped.

"Of course I thought you needed to know."

"So what? You were protecting me, is that?"

"Yes."

"It's about you, Cal. It's always about you." Ethan said pointing a finger in his brother's face.

Cal scoffed. Ethan lunged at him and before Cal realised what was happening he felt Ethan grab his scrubs. The two of the struggled with each other until Cal felt something hit him in the stomach. Cal groaned as Ethan's knee made contact. He slapped him back in the face. Ethan fell to the floor. Blood was pouring from his nose and Cal was trying to get his breath back. By now Charlie had walked in on them and saw the scene in front him.

"What is going on in here?" Charlie demanded as he helped Ethan up off the floor.

"Nothing." Ethan said firmly.

"It's not nothing. You two are fighting." Charlie said.

"It's fine, Charlie. Just leave it." Cal said, straightening back up again.

"Right, well you two need to talk. And when I mean talk I mean talk. Not hit each other. Your mother is in cubicles seriously ill while you two are out here arguing. You need to go to her and sort this out."

Cal and Ethan both looked at each other. Slowly nodding the two of them headed back to cubicles. Drawing back the curtains Emilie smiled when she saw her two boys enter.

"Hello, Ethan." Emilie said.

Ethan hesitated. He didn't know what to say or what to do. He felt Cal nudge him. Ethan slowly walked forward and sat down beside Emilie while Cal sat on the other side of the bed.

"I'm really glad to meet you." Emilie began.

"Uh, yeah. It's glad to meet you too." Ethan responded.

The three of them sat in awkward silence.

"Charlie told me you were ill. It can't be that bad." Ethan said. "I mean there is a cure, right."

Emilie tilted her head slightly. She could see Ethan still didn't know about her illness. That was a good thing. But she turned to Cal and saw he was about to tell him.

"Um, Ethan." Cal answered. "There is no cure for what Emilie has got, I'm afraid."

Ethan looked at Cal with confusion in his eyes.

"I don't understand." Ethan stated.

"What Cal is trying to say," Emilie continued. "Is that I've got Huntington's."

Ethan's breath hitched.

"Huntington's?" He thought aloud. "But, that means…"

"Yes, dear. There is a 50/50 chance that you or Cal may have it." Emilie finished.

Ethan didn't know what to say. He turned and glared out Cal.

"So is this another secret you've kept from me." He hissed at his brother.

"I'm sorry, Ethan." Cal replied. "I wanted to tell you."

"Why couldn't you?"

"Because I didn't know how to." Cal told him honestly.

"So, you lied to me?"

"I didn't lie to you."

"And what about Charlie?"

"What about Charlie?" Cal questioned.

"Does Charlie know about this?"

"No!"

"Cal, don't lie to me. Does Charlie know?" Ethan snapped.

"Yes, Charlie knows." Cal gave in.

"Oh, that's just great, isn't it?" Ethan chuckled. "First I find out not only was my mum not my real mum and that my real mum has an incurable illness. I also discover my friend knew before I did."

"Ethan…"

Ethan shook his head.

"No. I don't want to hear it, Cal." Ethan said. "What kind of brother does that?" He added.

"A brother who loves his sibling." Cal said.

"Love?" Ethan said. "This is not love. You lied to me. How can you call that love?"

"Because I didn't want to lose you. That's why I didn't tell you. I was scared."

"But, you thought telling Charlie would be better?"

"I needed to talk to someone. I couldn't talk to you so I went to Charlie instead."

"YOU SHOULD HAVE COME TO ME!" Ethan raised his voice.

Ethan didn't wait for Cal to reply back. He just pushed his chair away from him and walked out of cubicles. Cal quickly followed him into the staffroom where he closed the door behind him.

"I'm your brother. You should have come to me. You should have felt like you could talk to me instead of Charlie." Ethan said barely audible.

"I know, Eth. And I'm sorry." Cal replied.

"So you've said. But, are you really though?"

Cal was taken aback.

"Of course."

"Well, you don't seem it." Ethan said.

Cal stepped towards. Placing one hand on Ethan's shoulder he used the other one to turn Ethan's face so he was looking straight at him.

"I'm sorry. I know I hurt you and I know I shouldn't have lied to you. But, I meant what I said. I was scared I was going to lose you. And I didn't want that." Cal told him truthfully.

"You would never have lost me." Ethan replied.

"How could I be so sure? When I found out about the adoption the first thing that came into my head was the fear of realising you might not be my brother. How could I have told you if it meant I was losing a brother?"

"Because you're my brother. And whatever that means it forces me to come back. To protect you, to be there for you." Ethan repeated the words he said when Cal had found out the truth about Taylor.

Cal felt his breath being taken away from him when he felt Ethan crash against his chest wrapping his arms around his neck. Cal relaxed into his brother's embrace and wrapped his arms around Ethan's waist. Charlie passed by and smiled to himself as he saw the two of them. He was grateful the two of them had sorted things out.


	4. Chapter 4

The two of them remained in their embrace for a while. Cal was about to pull away when he felt Ethan slump against him.

"Ethan?" Cal shook by the shoulders. "Ethan can you hear me?"

Cal got no response from his brother. He placed Ethan gently on the floor then rushed to the door.

"Can I get some help in here?" Cal called out.

Zoe and Rita rushed over.

"What's happened?" Zoe inquired as she took Ethan's pulse.

Cal shook his head.

"I don't know. He just suddenly collapsed on me."

"Right, well he's tachycardic. Let's get him on a trolley."

Rita came in pushing a trolley with her. The three of them lifted Ethan on to the bed and rolled towards RESUS. Cal looked in the directions of cubicles and saw a distressed Emilie being held back by Shelle as the rolled by. In RESUS Ethan was hooked up to a machine and a litre of saline.

"Pulse is 120, and BP is normal at 100/70." Rita informed Zoe.

"Okay, well BP's normal but, I'm worried about his pulse. It's pretty high." Zoe said continuing to look at the monitor.

"Do you have any idea what might have cause him to collapse?" Zoe asked looking at Cal.

"Not that I know of. He has been a bit stressed lately."

"That might explain why his heart rate is so fast."

Zoe went back to checking Ethan's vitals. Soon Ethan began to come round.

"And how are we feeling?" Zoe asked him.

"A bit dizzy." Ethan commented.

"Okay. We'll keep you in for obs and hooked up to a saline drip just to make sure it's nothing serious. But, I think you're just a bit dehydrated. And Cal's mentioned you're stressed. So once I'm happy with your vitals then you're free to go. However, I want you to go home and take it easy for a while." Zoe told him.

Ethan nodded his thanks. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Cal approach him.

"You had me worried there for a minute, Ethan." Cal said.

"Sorry."

"No, I'm sorry. I should have seen you were in no fit state to work. I should have convinced you to stay home today."

Ethan replaced the oxygen mask back over his face and took in a few deep breaths. He then removed it again.

"Cal?"

"Yes, Nibbles."

"About last night…"

"What about last night?"

"You didn't really mean it, did you?"

"About what?"

"About adopting Matilda. You were going to tell me then, weren't you?"

Cal nodded.

"Why didn't you?"

"You were already stressed out. I didn't want to bother you."

"You should have told me."

"I know."

"And anyway, I didn't mean what I said." Ethan said quietly.

"About you quitting."

"Yeah. Like you said I was just stressed. I didn't know what to do or how to deal with it."

Cal smiled.

"Don't worry, Ethan. I'll always be here for you."

Ethan smiled back. Cal then left Ethan to get some well deserved rest. Heading back to his patients Cal stopped by cubicle 2. Entering the cubicle Emilie looked towards him, worry in her eyes and Shelle standing next to her.

"How's Ethan?" Emilie asked.

"He's okay." Cal told her.

"I was worried there when I saw him on the trolley. I'm sure you were as well."

"Yeah, well he's stable. He'll be able to go home once the doctors think he's okay enough."

"You've done a good job looking after your brother." Emilie suddenly told him.

"I hope so."

Emilie looked at him.

"What do you mean by that?"

"I'm not sure Ethan would agree with you." Cal told her frankly.

"Why wouldn't he be?"

Cal just shrugged his shoulders.

"I guess I haven't exactly been the best big brother he's deserved."

"You want to talk about?"

Even though Cal had recently only just met Emilie he felt like he could open up to her. Taking a seat he sat down beside her.

"It's just since working here Ethan and I haven't exactly been on friendly terms. Well, that was until I almost came to losing him in a car crash. It was then I only realised how much he meant to me and how much I've been a useless brother."

"I'm sure Ethan doesn't think you're a useless brother."

"No, he doesn't." Said a voice.

Both Emilie and Cal turned. Standing there was Ethan.

"What are you doing out of bed?" Cal asked standing up and walking over to him. "I though you were supposed to be resting."

"Yeah, well, I wanted to see how Emilie was." Ethan replied sitting down in Cal's vacated chair.

"I'm sorry for storming out on you earlier on." Ethan said to Emilie. "It's just a bit of shock."

Emilie took his hand in hers.

"I know. I understand."

Ethan smiled at her weakly.

"Right, let's get you back to RESUS before Zoe gets mad at you." Cal said helping Ethan stand up.

"I can manage, Cal." Ethan told him.

Cal caught him just as Ethan's knees buckled beneath him.

"Uh, I don't think you can."

Cal helped Ethan up and wrapped one of his arms around his neck while Cal's arm went around his waist. The two of them walked into RESUS. Cal remained by Ethan's bedside to ensure he stayed there until Zoe was happy to give him the all clear.

"Cal, I'm not a baby. I don't need babysitting." Ethan answered.

"Okay, then. But I don't want to see you out of here until Zoe's said so."

Cal ruffled his brother's blond curls before returning to his patients. An hour later and Zoe had discharged Ethan and he was free to go home. It was end of shift and Ethan was waiting for Cal. Soon Cal appeared by his side.

"Ready to go home?" He asked his little brother.

"Yeah."

Cal swung one of his arms around Ethan's neck.

"Let's go then."

"Wait up!" It was Lofty.

Both Cal and Ethan turned around.

"Fancy coming to the pub?" he asked the two of them.

"Nah, some other time, mate." Cal said to him.

Ethan looked at him.

"That's unlike you. Are you sure you're feeling alright?" Ethan smiled.

Cal rolled his eyes in response.

"Of course, I am. I just thought we could spend some brotherly bonding time."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I thought we could get some pizzas and then watch whatever you wanted."

Ethan smiled at him as the two of them bid their goodnights to Lofty and the others. In the car driving home, Cal turned to Ethan.

"You know what Nibbles?"

"What?"

"I think we should adopt Matilda."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

Ethan and Cal both smiled at each other. Life was looking good for them.

 **The End**

 _ **Hey, guys! Thank you again for all those lovely reviews. I'm not really sure about this ending but, hope you enjoy it anyway. I thought I might do a sequel where they've adopted Matilda but, I'm not sure. Anyway until next time :)**_


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